Beautiful

You tell me that I’m beautiful
And that the whole world is yours
You tell me that I’m beautiful
And that the whole world is yours
You tell me that I’m beautiful
And that the whole world is yours……

I don’t see me.
The essence of me
Help me expose myself.
Help me perceive my beauty.

So, she’s so beautiful that she could be a model

With a body so serene all eyes yield and follow.

She swallows; the low blows
Life’s misconceptions, complexities and lessons

Sustained her ego to grow slow
Grasped love in her hand
But it didn’t want her anymore

Secretly,
She despises her own existence
Suicidal ponders when you see that ass switching

Slits her wrist then
She’ll gain attention
You assume she’s an arrogant bitch so you won’t stop to listen
From her artificial eyelashes
To her acrilic nails

What you observe is visual beauty

Yet, she defines it as hell

Self-esteem; she lacks
Intelligence; she slacks

But you’re gazing at that ass and hips

Speculation is she’s bad

The more compliments she acquires
Simply makes her esteem plummet
The insecurities within herself
Converts her into a fraction of a woman

Yet her beauty is so desirable all men wish to seek her
Three abortions later and the third one is a keeper

She grows weaker; by the day
Regarding all the emotions she’s ever felt

But you’ve assume she’s obtained it all.....

So to hell with your help

She’s not beautiful
She’s not gorgeous
She’s sensitive,
Fragile
And weak
You say the whole world is hers…
But she’s tasted nothing but defeat

-pilarscratch

I wrote this poem in 2009., following a evitiable breakup. Before, I was a mother, a fadhion designer, a woman, before I knew myself. This poem, sadly was the last poem I wrote ... Now reflecting back to this era ive.grown.spiritually and wouldnt alter my saga for anything . For the reason being, the growth , has defined.the woman & mother I am today... That alone is my biggest accomplshment.

ME! OH! MY!

So, this day I manipulated & apprehensive. I decided to be an sheer style mayhem and uniform myself in white.

Yes! I was fierce, as always.

But I furthered a verge to my Danny & London dashing white dress.

 Which, in my estimation, was unmatched for the weather 84 degrees….

I had just appeared my showcasing of “scratch” at the Garfield rooftop in Manhattan, New York.

 The aspectof my being was dapper. Very versatile and tranquil for my common apparel ranges. I preferred to go with a more poshley oversensitive expression…

I believe and my audience of that day agrees.

=]

So here we have it my….

 Danny and London dress $%%| Nicole miller cheetah pimps $99| h & m braided camel belt $ 15| j. Crew mint & teal cardigan $75 (on sale)| d & g visor shades $150| & a |Buxton tote bag $ 75.99

Fashioning Motherhood..... "Dedication To River"

 If I had to choose him or the sun, I would be one nocturnal sun of a gun.....

How do I do it? How do I balance motherhood, traveling, wardrobe management, illustrating, merchandising, designing & networking.....? All at the simple, unadulterated age of twenty-one......?????

bluntly, I’m at an era in my existence where I should be dating or submitting into the stereotypical norm of a 21 year old .The authenticity of my norm is that I’m  not a distinctive young adult. I’m a mother, to a dazzling packet of bliss, River. ......

Foremost, I’m a mother, providing to my son, spending quality time, Loving & being zealous to him is my initial livelihood. ....... .

    I’m blessed,

 Not solely with a remarkable offspring but with an unmatched business.

As we all are aware of.  I have developed a livelihood & the networking experience individuals hunger to obtain..... Note the: “I AM BLESSED “notation

I encounter numerous indivuals, celebrities, socialites,people in general that I would have never thought of conversing with…..

The key to my success is taking one day at a time. Equilibrium is life for me. I find that organization and balance have sponsored in my growth as a mother, designer, stylist, socialite….. Me as a whole…

Every month I create a “willpower” list of objectives I plan to undertake by the expiration of the month. I even list my uncertainties… and I conquer them…..

                        No excuses….No bulls%*t

I work my day-to-day agenda around Rivers, my roaming, has to come secondary, if I cannot meet the expense of a nanny through the duration of my traveling. When I originally had my son, I took him with me during my showcasing to diverse states throughout the U.S. My son is merely one and has been to California, Boston, Miami, Washington, Orlando New York, Connecticut and Atlanta.  I conspire to keep him open-minded to altered interpretations in life.

Recently, I found out that Scratch is a well-known brand in the UK & Paris,

I’m scheduling an expedition there this summer, Hugs and kisses to my British / French fans love you all…..

And hell yes! River will be graced with your presence UK.

As a mother, a single mother, I hunger for my son with me as much as imaginable. As he comes of age I need to teach him through my experiences. I want my son to be aware of all the immense prospects in life. 

Pilar Scratch on the set of abcs Americana

Lights , camera, action!!

That was my life last thursday as I was casted on to the set of Americana on Abc. 11 hours , of rehearsals , fashion and celebrities all placing their signatures on what will soon be abcs new leading saga..

.. What significance did I play?

Well, I recieved an email from my beauiful PR stating Abc had requested me to portray a bougie , judgemental , socialite attending a new york fashion show...

the character wasn't far fetched from me at nyfw :-)

patricia field herself placed me in the front row of the fashion show giving me ample camera time...

I was introduced to ashley geen from twilight who plays alice lovitico whom was conveying her fashion line, tiffany hines from bones & beyond the break , whom plays the character shane ,

patricia field the wardrobe stylist from sex & the city who stated " I love your style, you remind me of a little me."

Flabbergasted I still am. She wants pilar to intern with her :-) 

christan severiono famed clothing designer, ralph lauren, in robert s., from flashpoint attended as well, but I didnt get a chance to formally introduce myself to them.

excited would be a mere understatementstatement regarding my feelings for this experience

I was truly honored and privileged to attended premiere look out for pilar in the front row doing the pilot of the show permiring this fall on abc